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2/19/2009 My SinI'm not sure where to start. But I am compelled to share what happen to me and where it lead me.
This all started when Kim's sister moved into her house. I was given prophesy to share with her. Well in this prophesy I was given, I saw how Kim's sister's heart turned against God in anger and pain ignoring every word I said. She thought I was a mental case, a bible thumper who already grabbed Kim and now wanted to grab her. Well this hurt a lot. And I argued a lot with God. Telling him how I didn't want to do it, and how I felt it was a complete waste of time. Why bare my inner most feelings and trails to a woman who was not only going to reject God but insult me and my faith. I can accept the rejection of my faith, my walk etc, but I couldn't accept it for God.
But see, it was just about that and so much more. I was to plant the mustard seed. God asked me to do something. And the last time he asked me it was too late. I told myself that time, that I would never let God down again like that. It wasn't about what I thought of her walk or what I thought I was doing. It was about what God asked of me.
So I finally shared with Kim how I didn't want to do it. And later that evening I came home and prayed to God asking him why I couldn't even force myself to do it, and he said one word "pride." I cried, and begged for forgiveness and told Kim I would share the message regardless of it's outcome. I am a vessel, I am to do what I am asked.
Several weeks later, maybe 3 at the most. I got into an arguement with my sister (the one I posted about Facebook). Well it got pretty heated, she was typing messages I couldn't even read with more typos then I've seen from a 3 year old. Well she pushed and pushed and I said something I regreted. Apparently I hit a nerve with her as she had her son nasty email me, (as predicted and expected and not read, I am assuming it was nasty since her oldest is an EXACT clone of her as confirmed by her second son several times.) It didn't hit me that the reason her son emailed me is because I had really upset her to the point she must have complained to her kids. Thusly why one emailed me. I felt bad that I had crossed the line in my own book, lowering myself to her level. After prayer and a lot of thought I started to feel bad, that if my mom was alive and upset at someone, I would be too. So I felt I owed her and them an apology, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize to her when 1, she didn't deserve it, and 2, she wouldn't read it or accept it anyway so it would have been a waste of my time. So I was talking to Pat about this, and how I didn't want to apologize to her, and asked why. She replied one word "pride."
I lost it. How right she was! Though I had prayed about it with Kim's sister, it obviously wasn't dealt with. I hadn't even shared that story with Pat, till after she said that. I confessed it to her. How I was dealing with the sin of Pride, and didn't even know it.
I cried and cried and prayed and thanked God for bringing this not only to my attention once but twice. It's important to deal with sin, if you don't it takes root and grows. And it's important to confess this with others, to help work through it and educate others. Which is why I'm sharing this. TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://4wordthinking.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!33A5BDA58837EC80!609.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
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