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7/18/2009 Christian Spammers and Abusers?It never ceases to amaze me the amount of people that come across my path and judge Christianity as though THEY know the “facts” on how anyone who is, or claims to be Christian, should act. This has always hit me oddly because I as a Christian wouldn’t ever try to ASSUME how anyone of any other belief is to act. But I do agree, as a fellow Christian that when I come across someone who isn’t being ethical, I will question their standings. I know this is wrong, and I do feel bad about it, and have tried to stop. After all, I don’t know their heart, only God does, and who am I to judge? Well, it never seems to fail that unbelievers, who have admittedly never read the bible, never been to church, and don’t pray, will always add comments which shows lack of intelligence, and respect for others. Like this comment for example: “That would be the nice Christianly thing to do.” Um… how does that person have ANY clue what is the nice “Christianly” thing to do when their actions towards me came straight from hell? Why when someone tries to attack Annika’s, do they always have to make comments about “I thought it was a Christian site.” First of all, my staff has all different beliefs, at one point, we even had a Jew. The site is RAN by a Christian, however my staff is mixed, just as our members. And I fail to see how me reporting abuse, gives anyone the reason to ATTEMPT to bash my religion, or beliefs. I report abuse against my staff, site, and myself, and that if someone must bring up Christianity, well, that is the Christian thing to do when it all comes down to it. Yes turning the other cheek is in the bible, but to let someone get away with a crime, to only to perpetrate it again, is wrong. Anyone anywhere can take the bible and twist it to mean anything. It’s why there are so many beliefs, religions, and ideologies. But to bible thump and bash, when you’ve not even read the good book yourself, is like fighting in an armed combat without a weapon, or a shield. I have HAD it with people doing this childish, moronic way of trying to manipulate me, or goad me into an argument or reply. GROW UP! 5/11/2009 Being in the Church
I’ve been mulling over a few things for a while now. Too deep to not finally at last address. I went to a prayer meeting where I discovered I have something I need to take care of with grief recovery (which I’m not looking forward to). In this process they had worship too. It was a new church, but not really a new setting to me. As I’ve been to loads of types of churches, I wasn’t uncomfortable, that is until my cousin said to me “I feel the spirit wants you to get up, dance, give thanks, and confirmation of what you received.” As much as I love my cousin, and believe she’s close to God, my spirit wasn’t saying that. In fact I felt sick to my stomach and terrified at the very thought of it. This of course drew all the attention in the room to little ol me. JOY! Needless to say, this not only made me very uncomfortable, but very embarrassed. I buried myself in the spirit, and continued praying. The pastors at the church told me, a prophet needs a covering. Thus (as I have been lectured countless times) I should be in church, it’s a dangerous life I am leading. I am not a person who believes people HAVE to be in church to either worship, learn, praise, or give thanks to God. Ministry services are ALL OVER the internet, from youtube, to Godtube, and even most churches. I am not at a loss when seeking the church.
After I got home, I spoke with my brother and my aunt. My brother past on some interesting advice from his pastor. He said his pastor said that those without a church are like a lion seeking its prey from a herd. The lion will go after the weakest cattle, that which strays from the pack. The one that is alone is the easiest to attack. This was fascinating to me, as I never thought of it that way. It’s a great example, and a powerful way to force people into church. However, I choose to believe, that not all people, or cattle that stray from the herd are weak. Some are faster, stronger, and need to be on their own. Sometimes they come back to the herd, but sometimes they don’t. I don’t feel that the church that is for me, is a church where my family is. As much as I love my family, I could never feel comfortable in the house of God with them again. Growing up with family, you get to see the inner most of their beings, and though God has forgiven them, and I have, it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten, or ever will, and it’s that sin, that causes me to be uncomfortable in a place of worship. No one is perfect, but everyone seems to think of me as a priest, and confesses things I wish I never knew. How can I take a sponge to my brain?
I shared with my aunt about my cousin saying how the spirit wanted me to do one thing but my spirit was saying another. I wasn’t exactly saying my cousin was wrong, just I was not lead in that direction. I told her I was raised in a prim and proper church, and it’s against my nature to stand up, and wail about with my arms in the air. I’ve only done that when in my own home in deep worship/praise or warfare. I told her, when I’m in the presence of God and others, I feel… reserved, not like myself at all. And anyone who knows me will tell you, I’m the center of attention even without trying. I have always radiated joy wherever I go, and if you saw any of my baby pictures you would see, I am ALWAYS laughing. (Kinda odd I think lol.) When I shared this with my aunt, she started to argue, that when I got saved the old washed away, and I shouldn’t be as I once was, as that was wrong. But upon explaining fully to her, she realized, that when she is in church, she is the exact opposite of what she is anywhere else. Just as I had explained I was. She said, that must be how God balances us out. In the spirit we are opposite. I feel as though, I was a heathen as a child, and when in church, God calms me down. I’m in awe of his glory, and blessed by all he has done for me. I was raised to respect authority, and I know no other authority higher then God, that I should sit, and praise respectfully. Right or wrong, that is how my spirit feels. And I know when it’s not in my heart, and it’s in my stomach, that its wrong. When my cousin said stand up and dance, it was in my stomach, not my heart.
So I close with a reminder, don’t let anyone push you to do something you aren’t comfortable doing. The spirit will guide you, if you let it.
Disclaimer, this is not written to encourage anyone to leave their church, or change their method of behavior in church. This is written because I had to. 2/19/2009 My SinI'm not sure where to start. But I am compelled to share what happen to me and where it lead me.
This all started when Kim's sister moved into her house. I was given prophesy to share with her. Well in this prophesy I was given, I saw how Kim's sister's heart turned against God in anger and pain ignoring every word I said. She thought I was a mental case, a bible thumper who already grabbed Kim and now wanted to grab her. Well this hurt a lot. And I argued a lot with God. Telling him how I didn't want to do it, and how I felt it was a complete waste of time. Why bare my inner most feelings and trails to a woman who was not only going to reject God but insult me and my faith. I can accept the rejection of my faith, my walk etc, but I couldn't accept it for God.
But see, it was just about that and so much more. I was to plant the mustard seed. God asked me to do something. And the last time he asked me it was too late. I told myself that time, that I would never let God down again like that. It wasn't about what I thought of her walk or what I thought I was doing. It was about what God asked of me.
So I finally shared with Kim how I didn't want to do it. And later that evening I came home and prayed to God asking him why I couldn't even force myself to do it, and he said one word "pride." I cried, and begged for forgiveness and told Kim I would share the message regardless of it's outcome. I am a vessel, I am to do what I am asked.
Several weeks later, maybe 3 at the most. I got into an arguement with my sister (the one I posted about Facebook). Well it got pretty heated, she was typing messages I couldn't even read with more typos then I've seen from a 3 year old. Well she pushed and pushed and I said something I regreted. Apparently I hit a nerve with her as she had her son nasty email me, (as predicted and expected and not read, I am assuming it was nasty since her oldest is an EXACT clone of her as confirmed by her second son several times.) It didn't hit me that the reason her son emailed me is because I had really upset her to the point she must have complained to her kids. Thusly why one emailed me. I felt bad that I had crossed the line in my own book, lowering myself to her level. After prayer and a lot of thought I started to feel bad, that if my mom was alive and upset at someone, I would be too. So I felt I owed her and them an apology, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize to her when 1, she didn't deserve it, and 2, she wouldn't read it or accept it anyway so it would have been a waste of my time. So I was talking to Pat about this, and how I didn't want to apologize to her, and asked why. She replied one word "pride."
I lost it. How right she was! Though I had prayed about it with Kim's sister, it obviously wasn't dealt with. I hadn't even shared that story with Pat, till after she said that. I confessed it to her. How I was dealing with the sin of Pride, and didn't even know it.
I cried and cried and prayed and thanked God for bringing this not only to my attention once but twice. It's important to deal with sin, if you don't it takes root and grows. And it's important to confess this with others, to help work through it and educate others. Which is why I'm sharing this. 2/10/2009 25 Random Things About Me (with no tags) from FacebookI didn't tag people because it makes this a chain letters see (#9 and #1), I won't make this one of them.
1. I hate spam, and I don't mean the food.
2. I was saved April 4, 1993.
3. I'm diagnosed bipolar, and was told I'd be on meds the rest of my life. I've been off them, functional since 2002.
4. I use to live in Brighton England for a few years.
5. I LOVE my job.
6. I love being busy, and yes am a workaholic, even when sleeping I'm thinking of things to do, got a notepad by my bed.
7. I love to cook and clean, and I'm great at both.
8. Steak and fish is my best dinners, my brother Guy even stole my fish recipe.
9. I despise chain letters, even if they CLAIM to be of religious form. There is no such thing as a religious chain letter, you pass it on you are supporting sin.
10. I can't stand lies or liars. Like Pat said to me once when I turned to her about another "being lied to is pretty much the same as stealing, since they steal your trust, and that is very hard to recover. "
11. If I had to do my life all over again I wouldn't change a thing. The road I've been on has made me who and what I am. I am pleased with it, though I am not pleased with the sin I commit.
12. My sister ruined me on being excited about my brother's having children. She popped out a child every 2 years and had loads of miscarriages between them. The excitement was gone when another one came along. And I'm sad about that because all newborns are precious.
13. Everything I learn I try to pass on.
14. I love skunks, and think they make the best pets ever.
15. I have the gift of prophesy, and it's very strong, as much as a blessing it is, it has also been a curse.
16. I love geeks, nerds and trekkies. The smarter the person the more I enjoy their company. I thrive on learning something new everytime I speak to someone.
17. I believe the moon landing was filmed on a sound stage at area 51. (Why else does google earth block it out.) This means I don't believe we landed on the moon.
18. My favorite color is pink.
19. The biggest influence in my life is my cousin Sue. She's helped me through grief recovery, and finding myself in Christ. I walked over to her house the very day I got saved. We've worked together, played together, and prayed together. I'm blessed to have her in my life. She's more then a cousin, she's a sister.
20. I've been best friends with Kim for over 20 years now. And even when I moved to England, we still spoke.
21. I don't trust easily.
22. When I say I love you, I mean it. I don't use those words lightly. Though they have been said to me, doesn't mean I will say them back. Love, like respect, is earned. When I say it, you feel it, because I mean it.
23. I love mail, especially packages!
24. I had a kidney stone when I was 16, one removed by surgery and one I passed a few days later.
25. I hate asking for help. It's extremely hard on me because I'm so use to doing things on my own. When I do finally ask for help, it's often too late, and I'm in pain either physically or mentally. So each time I try to push myself to ask for help before it gets to that point, when I don't get help or get very little, I become discouraged, angry, and sad. And often it pushes me back from asking for help again. Everyone needs help.
2/1/2009 Hamsters, Annika's and MeWhat a horrid 3 weeks. Dwarfy died, natural old age causes. I went to Pet Supplies Plus and purchased Tabika. A young black bear hamster, not a teddy bear but a roar roar bear. On the way home she kept yelling and growling. I had never had a hamster that did this in all my life. Well, stupidly I introduced Hammika to Tabika. I should have waited.
Tabika became sick, and thankfully the receipt said 7 days and I can get a refund or another hamster. On the 6th day, I called the pet store, told them the receipt I have is shredded but I have it and was in the middle of creating it. They looked up the purchase told me to bring her in and get a refund. I had done a lot of research as I noticed on the 4th day she was sick. I looked up on the net to discover that she had wet tail. When I took Tabika back to the store, she was near death and I chose to believe they were able to save her. The manager told me that all their black bear hamsters had wet tail. They apologized, gave me a refund and took Tabika back to the vet. She’s dead though, because she was so young she didn’t have a chance. That was just this past week.
Last night Hammika looked like she had wet tail but it was her period. This morning I picked up Hammika to say hello, as I always do, to discover she had wet tail. I’ve been treating her, but they claim 24 – 48 hours after signs they die because they have been fighting it for 7 days. Hammika is a healthy hamster, and I did catch it in time, because her eyes aren’t covered in puss like Tabika’s was. There is no 100% cure for wet tail, but I’m into herbs and such, I have a few ideas. Every time she moves I pick her up and give her something to drink since dehydration is the leading cause of death with wet tail. They also say that after a hamster gets wet tail and appears cured they still die shortly there after. I believe if I can cure her, I can maintain her health with daily treatment.
I’m so tired, and stressed. I’ve not slept well since all this crap started 3 weeks ago. It’s why I’ve not written in a while.
I’ve also been very busy working on Annika’s. Thankfully, Annika’s is sorted. I’ve even created a facebook fan page. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Annikas/46962093305 1/17/2009 Starting The New Year RightSpending the New Year with my best friend and her kids, allowed me to look at my own family. My brother's and their kids stopped by for Christmas and it was a blast! Hammika was the center of attention, beaming in and out.
It's a shame that my brother's and I can't socialize with our neice and newphews in FL, and all they miss out on because of their mother. I shared with them my attempt to communicate with the one in the national guard. He wrote me first, and even called me. He asked me what was going on in my life, and expressed a sincere effort to get to know his aunt, and not through his lying mother. I felt honored, and shocked, though everyone bragged about how this was the only kid my sister raised that made, or was ever going to be something. So I felt a real pull on the heart strings that perhpas this child was old enough to understand, and accept the facts.
I wrote back sharing my life with him, my job etc, to update him. Not once did I mention his mother. It was about me, myself and I. Shortly after he got the letter complete with my business card, I got a nasty, NASTY, NASTY, NASTY, call from my mentally disabled sister. Going off on me for bragging to her son about my life. UM!? He's not living under her roof and according to him, hasn't been since the age of 16, he claims he escaped her mind games. She proceeded to ***** me out one side to the other. I was shocked amazed, and confused how anything I wrote was to her, or even ANY of her business. Shortly after that, the kid called me, and I asked him if he had shared my letter with his mother. At first he said no. I pressed, and he admited his mother pumped his for information like she always does. He expressed his apologies and said it would never happen again, but he can't help how controlling his mother is. I've not written to him since, and can't even speak to him on any msgers, or social sites nor can my brothers because of the lack of respect their mother has for her children. My brother's weren't as shocked as I was, that our sister had pumped her child for what my letter said. It's why one brother won't accept friendship requests on facebook or myspace and the other accepts them but doesn't talk to them. We simply can't afford to say anything that my sister would twist, even though it's not her we would be talking to. Damn shame huh?
So I ask this person that my sister CLAIMS is emailing her from a bunch of fake email addresses using my name, can you give her this link too? The more information you provide my sister with the better. Why? Because she's been calling, and reacting to everything you've done. Great entertainment huh? I know I'm enjoying it. The harm that you wish to cause has done nothing but bless us. Yes she gets upset, but hey that's the point isn't it? Truth hurts, facts hurt. It's why I have all the emails about the lies she tells about her business going under. Personally, I don't believe there is a person doing this. I think it's her multiple personalities coming through. I think she's made the whole thing up to communicate with me. The only time she speaks to me is when she needs something, or wants something. So please by all means, if you are indeed a real person I beg you to never stop whatever it is you are attempting to you. I want to thank you as well. Why is it happening this way? Because God blesses and protects his children, and though my sister isn't saved, I am. My work is for Christ, my businesses were started with his blessing, and God guides me in all I do and say, (though I don't always listen.) My faith is first and forefront in all I do. So why else is every harmful attack turned into a blessing? lol
10/5/2008 I LOVE being right!I can not express the high I get when I am proven right. Especially when I make it known to the whole world (by the previous entry) that something is going to happen, and it happens! I wrote, as you can tell in my previous entry, that I dared my sister to call now, and how if she would, she would have someone else do the call. Sure enough she did! OMG I feel SO GOOD right now! Who needs drugs when your sister is so predicable?! And it also proves she's afraid of me! She KNEW she was in the wrong, and I had/have every right to put her in her place, so she cowered behind someone else. Thank you once again God for giving me this wonderful feeling. 9/25/2008 Last night felt great!I was on facebook, and 42 seconds after I logged in, my sister posted a nasty comment on a beautiful, uplifting, spiritual article I posted. That wasn't too much of a shock she did it, what was a shock was the vile filth that flowed forth. It's funny though because she's so ignorant of everything she's done on facebook. Everytime you post something on facebook, or do ANY actions, ALL your friends, and the person friends you posted it to or about are alerted of what you have done. I have over 500 business connections. So they all got to see her crap.
I was in a mood of complete shock that though the article was posted 5 days ago, she just now posted her nastiness on it. I would have thought after all this time she was done playing her 12 year old games, but no. So I went over to her facebook and posted "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Stop leaving your smart a$$ comments on my profile and grow up!" On another of her status messages I posted "Stop leaving your smart a$$ comments on my profile, grow up, and start acting like the Christian you claim to be". FINALLY she removed me. You see I wasn't going to remove her, because she's trying to make it out like I am disowning her, just like she did with her one kid in the military. Telling family lies that he disowned her. It felt so freakin great to slap her with her own words. It's why she didn't say anything back but removed me. It hurts to be slapped with your own words, and it hurts that your 9 year younger sister has to tell you to grow up LOL. I dare her to call now, but I know she will have someone else call for here because she knows, she's in for it now.
What else is funny is she has her personal myspace marked as private now, because I keep telling everyone to compare hers to mine. I have nothing to hide, never have never will, the facts speak for themselves and she's the one who claims she's becoming a CSI.  Don't CSI have to look and study FACTS? 9/18/2008 Falsehoods against me addressedI've been doing a lot of thinking, research, and praying.
There are certain people who have nothing better to do then spread lies, and gossip about me. I've not had the need to defend myself because my actions speak for themselves. My facebook, myspace, blogs, Annika's, voice overs, emails etc all show the evidence, that if I was indeed some horrible person, there would be proof of it. And not just users gossiping in forums, blogs, and articles written with falsehoods against me.
You see, as I have expressed before there are people who have nothing better to do then sit around attempting to start fights with people. The very moment I stepped into the net I've been in the public eye. Just like celebrities, the more in the public eye they are the more they are securitized. I'm ok with this, always have been. If someone's picking on me, or gossiping about me they are leaving someone else alone. Plus it's free press. I am picked on and gossiped and lied about because God knows I can take it. I'm strong, at one point I wasn't, and had the abuse I've been getting had been done then, I'd not be here today. But God brought me through it all.
I have friends from when I first stepped online, how many could say that if they were such horrible people? I have real life friends, one for over 20 years now, and if I was a horrible person would I have those and even for that long? I have over 2000 members of Annika's and over 1500 of the newsletter. Once again, if I was horrible why do so many praise, thank and even follow me? I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm completely honest online. So why is it these people can only pick on the fact I'm a Christian? Because they have nothing else to attack me with. Why? Because I'm no longer the open book I use to be, so they don't know ANYTHING about me other then I spend a lot of time helping others, and telling it like it is.
There is this person in my family who doesn't know their siblings anymore. They think merely because they email or call they are close. This couldn't be further from the truth. This person has written downright sinful smut filled lies about me. And the funny thing is, I will always have the proof of the emails burned to CD, DVD, and any other format that comes along. This person has always been jealous of me, and I will never understand that. Everyone that knows this person is sickened by everything she has ever done, yet no one will say anything to her. Instead for some crazy reason, they ALL complain to me about her. Out of sheer embarrassment I will not mention the horribly rude things said, plus unlike her, I won't air her dirty laundry, she does enough of that with posting of her nudes on myspace. I admit I desperately want to smear her name. I wouldn't say good name because she's already made a bad name for herself online with loads of companies. And that's the thing, she doesn't need my help to prove to everyone she's downright trouble and karma is getting her big time. Everytime she gets involved with anything it turns to crap. She wrote for AC, and then blames them for ruining her work, claiming all the typos are them. (because she can do no wrong.) She claims the neighbors threw a brick at her head, and she never ever did anything wrong to them. LMFAO That story kills everyone up here with laughter as we darn well know, she causes ALL the trouble she gets, and deserves it too. So, as I said, I need not need to do a single thing. God protects me, and her writings continue to express the mental status of herself. When at last she is finally dead and gone, I will miss all the fame she brings me. Writing poems about how much she loves me and treasures me, and then back stabbing me every chance she gets, and of course controlling her kids sending them after me too. MPD. I am the center of her attention, and apparently always will be. What a blessing and an honor, I am so very much loved. I feel all warm inside. (She proved it by just now sending me a gift on facebook telling me I'm the center of her attention, awwwwww.)
So I ask, how exactly and why do I have to be stopped from helping people? Ask yourself the question when you read someone's gossip, and lies, are you getting the full story, or what the person wants you to hear? I share all my sins because I'm far from perfect. I see my flaws, and try to fix them. I share them with others out of the hope of help. You read a blog entry, posting, or article and assume the word is true. Perhaps to the person that wrote it, it is. But the person it may be about, might hold the other half of the story. Seek both before you post, reply, assume, attack, or sympathize with ANYONE. For you may be lead down a path to hell. Because, the person I spoke of in this entry claims to be a Christian, facts speak for themselves. She's no more saved then Hitler.
Now that I have addressed this issue, I will not have to address it again. This is why I do not have drama in my life. I address the issue and move on, only Lot's wife looks back, and look what happened to her. 9/17/2008 Updated DisclaimersI've updated the disclaimers on here and my myspace accounts, as the drama that's going on for some reason, my sister always tries to drag me into, as though I care. First and foremost, simply because we are related doesn't mean we are friends. We are acquaintances, nothing more. Why do I feel this way? Because true family (everyone but her) I don't have to walk on eggshells around, worry about if I said something one of her personalities twisted it or / and wonder who of her personalities or kids she's going to send to say rude stuff to me. I don't have the time to dedicate to reading each and every single email to her and from her over and over again to make sure she's not going to twist it. I'm done. I've already been ignoring 99% of her emails, I guess it's time to crank it up to 100%.
I've been painting the house inside and out since the end of June (yes it's a huge house). This is why I've not had time to dedicate to posting entries. I can barely keep up with Annika's, and I'm only keeping up with that site because SO many rely upon it and they indeed deserve my time.
Also updated news, my sisters child abuse myspace got closed, but she made another.
Previously posted: 8/16/2008 Child AbuseI’m beyond outraged, insulted, sickened, and praying the world comes to and end NOW. I know and knew my sister has MPD but this time she’s gone too far. She once told me she had a child abuse myspace account. (she has 10 Myspace accounts now all MPD even a male as one.) Well it never really hit me at the time until she sent an email out to everyone she knows, even family members who do not know about our family history. I didn’t know this until one of them contacted me with loads of questions of my sister’s mental status and allegations. Instead of answering her (because she’s a complete gossip) I simply informed her of how many times I reported my very own sister for child abuse of her own kids. They even use to joke when I visited “you got to be careful Amy’s here she will report us for child abuse.” I think choking a kid up against a wall while he’s kicking, screaming, spitting and turning bright red, is worth reporting as abuse. She even bragged about doing it until the kid past out. Yeah, this is a woman who should have a child abuse myspace account and better yet, thinks she can write a parenting book. She’s a laughing joke up here. She’s even mentioned how she’s going to write a parenting book, we joke yeah titled ‘How to Abuse Your Kids and Get Away With It’. I forgot to mention that my best friend lived with her at one time, her abuse experience with my sister is that my sister and her husband would beat her kids for crying to get them to stop crying. Thankfully she either brainwashed her kids, or they have been so abused they blacked out the memories and no longer remember these events. I wish I could black them out, as did my mother. My mother even wrote about how upset she was on her death bed that my sister choked her kid like she did. 7/8/2008 Yes Virginia, I do have an egoI've updated the FAQ on Annika's and feel pretty darn good about it. It's a comment that comes across my path at least once a year. The amazing thing is, it's always mentioned by a low self esteemed woman, never a man. I also find it interesting it only ever comes about when I ban a member. Gee, I wonder who sent the comment... duh I'm so stupid I have no idea.
You seem to act as if you know it all, why is that? Because I do, LOL. Seriously though, I've been doing this since 1999, and I do know what I'm talking about as my reputation shows. If I seem to have an ego about it, it might be because I do. I educate myself, where as some people don't bother at all, and just follow the crowd. I'm a leader, and leaders need to know it all in order to lead. If I wasn't, why does Annika's have so many members, and readers of the newsletter? I'm proud of my work, and if more people were proud of their work, perhaps there would be fewer complainers in the world. I do listen to other's experiences and ideas, just as they listen to mine; it's how we all learn. I've always been open minded to others, always will be. It's why Annika's has thrived. This does not mean I'm saying I'm perfect because I'm not. This also doesn't mean I'm not willing to listen to others. Anyone that has taken the time to talk to me, knows full well I do. Added to this, my staff is EXTREMELY intelligent individuals. I'd be lost without them. It's their experiences that have added to the site as well. -------- When you do something you love, it shows, and people will get jealous of your work. They will try to put you down, because they have no self-respect, they cannot respect another's work if they can't respect themselves. I happen to be truly blessed with a brain like a sponge. I love learning, and if I don't learn something new everyday, I feel that day has been totally wasted. I'm blessed with the knowledge, and put it to use. If someone is upset by that, move on, obviously you are too good to be blessed by me, and hey that's ok. It's your right to not take any advice offered, it's also your loss not mine. Now that this issue has been addressed, I can ignore it when it comes in, yet another time saver. Thank you again God. 6/22/2008 UpdateI've been working extremely hard on expanding Annika's, added 2 new pages, one really helps members out with a daily event listing they should check out.
I'm also working on my third book. I put aside the second one.
I've also picked up another website to design but unfortunately, the gentlemen appears to be rather busy so it's taking a heck of a lot longer then it should.
I've had 2 huge Christian events happen to me in one week. One I can't share in this blog. And the other event was a past client who was into dark magic and witchcraft got saved!!!! He's totally turned his life around closing his center, and opened up a new one dedicated to the love of God. I feel so blessed that they contacted me again to share their story with me, and ask me once again to be a part of their project. I know what you are thinking, why if they were into that, was I a part of their project? Well, because I prayed about what they asked me to do. There was no bad language, and nothing against Christ. I put my faith in God that what was going to be done with it, was for the good. And, it was. It's now on Youtube, though I feel without the background the story will go missed.
Below is the background and information:
Christian metal project in which a girl is in search of God but ends up in the devils grasp through witchcraft in the end through her own suicide brings the person who brought her to witchcraft into the light of Christ, it is a very powerful message of Satan's grasp and God forgiveness. The song is "Final lullaby" by Kafabee. The video takes place at the beginning of the story where the girl runs from fears of commitment to faith and is caught by the devils spell.
I've also been painting, and washing walls too, which has prevented me time to do a blog entry. OH and dwarfy has joined the family! She's white with red eyes. Now Hammika isn't all alone now.
Love and stuff,
Amy Lynn 6/17/2008 Perfect StrangersPosted 9/20/2007
It seems like each time we get together the further away we get. There are things done in the past that can not and will not be forgiven. Why? Because though I've been forgiven by God and myself and others - You - the person who holds my sin against me won't move on and receive healing. You punish youself.
If a person truly wishes to have healing they move on from the issue. Not put it in print for all to see with lies all around and through it.
It's not considered hacking when you give a person your password. It's not considered a crime. If you gave your ATM card to someone and your pin and they took your money, that's your own stupidity. No one else's. But much like my dad, he shifts blame on everyone else no matter the issue. I'm use to people passing the buck, and if blaming me makes you happy and gives you peace, fine. I will accept the blame. But you, God and I all know the truth. And someday you will have to answer for it. I've already made my peace with God and you.
I still have the emails of what exactly went down. The same with the AIM chats. I will forever have them for all to see when someone comes to me. I will show the cold hard proof, no lies, and no words do I need to say.
My actions speak for themselves, as does all my work. I'm not a fake Christian, or some horrible hacker. But you tell your friends, family, and of course "readers" all you want. My parents said "you get what you deserve" and the bible says "you reap what you sew". Life can be hard from time to time, but it's hell if you don't move on and let go. You will never heal, and you will always be upset at others for moving on. Don't be Lot's wife.
This will be the last time I mention this, regardless how many times you wish to slander me with lies. I've turned all 4 of my cheeks on this issue. I have no more to turn. Instead I will just raise my shield of faith and God will protect me.
I'm not mad what you have done, I am disappointed in YOU. I expected more, much more, but I guess that's because of who you are. A Murder WithinPosted 6/25/2006
Today is a day I shall never forget.
I'm so upset and annoyed. God gave me a prophesy I shared with the one it was about. I saw my best friends unborn child in my kitchen. Face to face with him I was. He was the age of 3. His name was George (named after his dad), he had brown hair and brown eyes just like his dad. Hair cut like a bowl only not so obvious. He was down right adorable. And I sit here now crying my eyes out at the news I just got.
My best friend called me, the one I told was going to have this child. Well told me she was pregnant and aborting it. (She didn't know she was with child when I told her about it, nor did she believe it.) How am I to cope that I seen a life my best friend is killing? I want God to take back the vision given to me.
She told me all her excuses trying to justify the whole thing and I sat in shock and dismay and cried at a life I've seen - never to have lived. It doesn't matter her excuses or whatever. I want to know why I got to see this child that will never be? I was so happy when I saw him and told her the news ect and now it seems as though I been tortured.
Take it back God! Why give me a vision of a life that is murdered before it's even begun? Is it punishment for wanting this gift? I'm so torn up inside as though I knew the child all it's life. I believe in freedom of choice but I don't believe or support abortion as a form of birth control.
So if you want to know why I am not up to chatting and laughing this is why. The illogical ptr webmasterPosted 4/28/2008 I'm not sure where to begin on this one. I'm extremely logical and Spock teaches us that logic is unfailing, and it's always served me to win in any argument. Therefore, I have complete faith in the fact that logic always wins out. But what happens when you belong to a ptr website ran by a person with no logic what so ever? The webmaster meets nearly every warning sign in my article how to spot a bad paid to read webmaster. I almost pity her if it wasn't for the fact she reminds me of another webmaster with the wanting a pity party. If a person can afford to rest and relax, they obviously can afford to pay their bills. Plain and simple. Therefore, I have no pity. She's a good woman, even if a bit strange. Like, I still don't understand the comment made about having another Christian look over our chats. As though judging me is going to help her in some way as well as comparing me to another Christian. I am unique and proud of it and though I made a comment that she was bashing my faith, she claims she wasn't. What was the point in mentioning then that you had another "Christian" look over our talks?! LOL. Whatever. I am just praying God will help her, as she obviously needs it to seek out another "Christian" to talk about me to.
Then I'm told that she already excepts me to badmouth her, because I've done it in the past, and to other webmasters. Since when is the truth considered bad mouthing? Which I said. Then I was told "it's one sided, it's your view." Um hello? Of course it is, anytime I mention anything about anyone I make it very clear it's MY EXPERIENCE. And no one, I repeat NO ONE can argue that. Because it's MINE. It's like arguing Jesus, telling him he didn't argue with the devil in the desert because it was HIS view and HIS experience. I would like to see the person who has the balls to debate Jesus!
I feel bad in the
respects that I have seen so many webmasters follow the path she's on, and I
can't stop her, because her personality is like so many others. They will not
listen to reason and logic, they have to crash and burn every time and never
learn from that as well. Religious Attacks ExplainedPosted 3/3/2008
I'd like to start off by saying 1 thing. I'm sorry.
I would like to share, that there have been many people for well over a year who assumed I know when I am sinning and cheating a company. I did not know until today March 3rd 2008 that what I was doing was considered cheating. I don't promote cheating, and I am highly upset that no one mentioned anything to me except one person. One person out of thousands actually didn't ASSUME but TOLD me. Point blank. Yes it was brutal, yes it hurt, but it stopped me dead in my tracks.
I have expressed my apologies to the webmasters who were involved (or at least that I ran ads on or that could get in touch with). Many webmasters have no clue what I am speaking of, but still, it should not reflect upon their site. No webmaster, I repeat NO webmaster was knowledgeable of my crime. No webmaster should be made a party to what I did. Webmasters are extremely busy people and do not have the time to check each and every ad ran through their website. They can not be held accountable for my mistakes and lack in judgment. I am sorry to any and all involved.
I am also sorry that those that assumed I'm some sort of two faced Christian saying one thing and doing another, didn't even stop for ONE second to ask me if I even knew about it. It breaks my heart that so many teamed up against me, bashing me left and right. I do not read terms of every site I belong to except survey sites, ptr, focus groups and the like. Sometimes it's hard to remember all the terms of sites when you belong to over 900 survey sites, 20 different ptr sites, 15 paid to write sites, paid to shop, ect the list goes on and on.
I don't except anyone to accept my apology, nor do I except anyone to forgive me. I can only offer and ask that you do. And please if ever in wonder about someone, please stop and ask don't assume. I am not a hypocrite, I strive very hard to be real.
I am not going to the lengths of posting this in all the forums bashing me, my site, and my beliefs, because this is where I belong, where God has guided me to be and I will not stray from my path. I thank you for reading this.
And again I would like to thank that one person who cared enough to step forward and share this with me. This is the third time she's impressed me, BIG time.
Monday's LessonsPosted 9/13/2007
Wow what a Monday I had. I've got to explain a few things so you won't get lost on what all has been happening. My neighbors have been partying each and every night since they moved in. Sleep is very important to me. I mean VERY. I love sleep, more than I could love any human. Sleep comforts me even when it's a nightmare as I know I'm a live then. I love sleep so much because I hate this life. I hate how people don't have respect for others, I hate how people have sex before marriage and think I'm to accept it as well as date a man with kids, I hate how bisexuality, and smut are everywhere. People who claim to be Christians and claim to be bisexual is a contradiction in terms. Did they not read the bible where God destroyed a whole town because of it?! I'm sorry, I do have gay friends and I do have bisexual friends, but it doesn't mean I accept their lifestyle. I'm sick of the pain that all this sin is causing me. And I'm sick of not being able to do anything about it. I'm sick of how no one is really truly happy. So that's why I LOVE sleep. It's an escape from life.
Well, as I mentioned, my sleep has been taken away from me. I would get so bad I couldn't write a sentence to save my life because I couldn't think! I couldn't eat, and loads of other boring things. Well my aunt called and invited me out to lunch. I really didn't want to go as I was feeling so sick but I told her I was going to take a bath and wash my hair and I might feel better, we would see. So I went to take my bath, which is always where I end up speaking to God. Water just has some form of connection with God. I rinsed out the tub and began talking to God as I was removing my clothes. Well I told God, "You know how important my sleep is to me. I can't operate without it." and he replied "Yes I do, and that's why it's being taken away." I paused. "Excuse me" I thought. "why..." and I heard "sleep means more to you than I do." How painful! Yet how true. How horrible of me! I would rather sleep than spend time with God. What kind of Christian am I?! I felt like crap. How horrible of me. God then let me know, there are several areas in my life that are not as or where they should be. Yucky but true.
So I told God, "but without sleep I can't do your work, least not properly." and he replied, "exactly. what example are you setting behaving as you do, simply because you lost sleep." OUCH! How painful the words truth hurts! I confessed my sin of sleep before God and begged forgiveness I honestly didn't know I was doing that. I was being taught a lesson. Though my neighbors have Jezebel, I was being taught so very much by God. I had prayed for my neighbors, I had rebuked my neighbors, I had prayed for myself to get sleep, but in the end the only thing that added comfort was giving God thanks for all I had. The bed I was sleeping in, my blankets, the roof over my head, ect on and on until I dozed off for 3 hours.
The talk with God continued as I bathed. I told God how badly I needed sleep and how upset I was, and also rebuking the neighbors at the same time. I realized exactly what was going on. I stood up and in a strong voice I said. "NO MORE! No more will I allow the loss of sleep take me away from Gods work. I will not allow you Satan or Jezebel or anyone else you bring to attack me pull me from what God wants me to do. I will strive hard to do what I have been given, no matter how sick I am. Mother's suffer more than I do and raise kids. I can do this!"
The phone rang again. This time it was my cousin, please keep in mind Mondays is my worse day for work and the worse day of the week. She asked me to go to a meeting with her for the company she works for. I have often been Sue's little sister. We have a bond that we both treasure. I lived with her at one point and experienced many of my firsts in life with her and her family. Well while on the phone with her and her asking me to go, I felt the pain in the pit of my stomach. The pain the neighbors were/are causing. I thought, I want to go but I don't want to go. I wanted to wallow in self pity for my lack of sleep. I wanted to sit here and be angry with my neighbors for ruining my day, instead of ignoring them and their attacks. And WHAM it hit me. "do you want to go and spend time with your cousin in Christian fellowship or wallow in your self pity?" I quickly answered "Yes" to my cousin on the phone. And I had a wonderful time with both. Sharing all I had learned and heard. And God rewarded me that night with a full nights sleep. Praise is what I Do by Amy LynnPosted 9/6/2007 As we all know life can be hard. There are times of storms, and there are times of calm. When we under attack it's hard to turn the other cheek, but that is what the bible teaches us. It teaches us to not attack back, but say that's ok, hit me again for I can take it. You may feel the temptation to give back just as good, or better than you are getting. This isn't right, and often times, leads to making things even worse than they were to begin with. As we all know, people can get carried away in the hell they are doing to others. Through all my torment in life and lessons, I have learned on the path that Christ walks with me. I have learned Praise is the best thing you can ever do. Praising your God, the lord of all, the father of all, the creator of heaven and earth and Adam and Eve. There is nothing more powerful that praise. Just as you can lift a person's spirit when depressed or a person who has just poured their heart out into some work they have created the same thing happens with our God. He watches, provides, protects, and blesses us through out each and everyday, in one way or another. Much like any parent of a child, building up your loved ones helps in so many ways. There are many forms of praise you can offer God. You can offer thanks simply in prayers, or when someone mentions what all you have, how hard is it to say "It's been provided by God." Or "It's a blessing from God." Giving credit where credit is due isn't that hard. Yes, praise can be that simple. There is also warfare praise. That's when you listen to worship music, stand up, dance, scream and shout, wave your hands up in the air. Thank God, Praise God, shake and scream and get the holy spirit goose bumps you haven't had in years! Let those tears fall down your face, roll on the floor laughing, crying, screaming, and shouting to your God. Let him know you are his child, and you know your God provides for you. Let him know you LOVE HIM! Show him, tell him, scream it to the heavens and back! Let the spirit move and guide you in how you are to worship. Speak in tongues, speak in English, speak works out loud to your creator! As I write this now, I am worshiping and you are experiencing my passion for my love of God! I pray that this passion moves to you as you read these words, and you too praise as you have never praised before! Praise is what I do, even when times are good or bad, let your God know, through thick and thin, you are there night and day just as he is for you, his child. Praise, praise praise! Praise your God! Don't praise expecting anything in return. Praise because it's due, and you will be surprised what happens in your life and those around you. Every time I am under some kind of attack, I praise, letting Satan know, I stand by God. I have been through some pretty tough battles in my life, I will not sway. The enemy hates praise and spiritual warfare is important to every Christian, even when times are good, you can have friends who are under attack. Praise for them, with them and even about them Prophesy isn't all it's cracked up to bePosted 7/18/2007
I'm so upset at myself right now. I was given word for someone. It was important as I was woken up at 3am about it and even in prayer till about 6am. Well I was going to give this person the prophesy Monday night. But instead I waited till tonight simply because of my fears.
You see because of my sister, whom has beaten me down 90% of my life, I felt unworthy. She has always asked me for advice then slapped me back with "who are you to give me advice, look how young and inexperienced you are." Why ask me for advice in the first place if that's how you feel? Which is why recently I would point her to her own heart instead of baiting me into her spider web of abuse again. Well with all that abuse in mind. It was rushing through my head that anytime I give someone/ANYONE prophesy I'm always wondering if they are doing what she does and does to me. "Who is Amy to give me this word, what experience does she have? She's so young."
Which reminds me "who am I" seems to be my theme song in life. Well, I will tell you who I am.
I am a child of God, I am a vessel God uses to give word to others. I am blessed and I am worthy to pass on the information regardless of evil family attacks or words against me. For God chose me as he chose Mary. I am honored, I am blessed. And I will no longer let my worldly fears hold me back. Family past and present abuse will not stop the word of God being delivered again. I am sorry God that I let you down, and I pray I am not too late that I can fix the damage done. I'm sorry I let worldly fears hold your child back from a mission you gave to me, and blessed me with. I am worthy.
In case you can't tell by what I'm not really point blank saying is, instead of me giving that word on Monday night when it was meant to be delivered I called and offered it tonight, and it was too late. |
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